Letters to Italy

Inside the heart

Love, I define it like a leap of faith when you grant yourself the opportunity of knowing the essence of a person. But there are different kinds of love like the one for one’s self, family and ties of friendship. But… when that love arrives, where one undertakes the desire of staying with someone indefinitely, it usually fills a beautiful heart with fear, that for a moment seems much more vulnerable than usual. The key to join someone in fullness requires removing barriers. When I am with you those barriers disappear, look who I am, know who I am, this is me, look at me I am not hiding, I know you will be able to appreciate my strengths and defects with the beautiful complexity that they deserve.

I can see the beauty in you, you are beautiful and irresistible, I close my eyes and I see you, I close my eyes and I smell you, this writing shows me that I think of you and that I want to be with you. It is not brief nor it is impulsive, because my desire once I met you, is to be with you. Do not judge me, I do not judge you, but this feeling in my heart throbs to connect with your heartbeat.

What is this?

What is this? There is something that’s stuck in my mind and in my chest. It’s not pain nor I feel lost, but, what is this sensation that musters in both my thought and heart?

It’s connected to someone that I know, yeah you, you who I wrote this for and who is reading this I’m talking to you. I’m full of questions and problems to channelize such emotion, you’re like the sun arriving after a long storm. You shine so bright as a sunset while I navigate in the ocean on a broken raft, I am so far and so close to you at the same time. I feel your warmth and your ideas but I’m longing so much to touch you and grasp you between my arms & my hands. I’m desperate to get so close to you that I must breath slowly and remember that If I’m not patient my raft will sink into oblivion. I must nurture your being and tell you in this short writing that you live in me in this very instant.

I so desperately want to use the four letter “L” word so bad. But since these are my words I would be a hypocrite to disguise linguistically this feeling in mind, lips, voice and my fingers. The truth is… I love you.

Distance

I’m full of scars and pain, time heals but that does not mean the pain will ever go away, each time a make a new connection my life is full of happiness, I feel alive and with hope that this world is not a bad place after all, but then reality strucks me and the person I have met, someone starts to take distance, the other person or me. Such is life.

I like to be a person of hope, it is not a dream world, but it seems that these are ideals worth pursuing in this existence. At the end nor the body nor reality are what I will leave with in this life experience, it will be ideas, connections and the hope of living as fulfilling as I desired.